Wednesday, May 26, 2010

It's been Grace like rain!

Last week as I was reading my daily bible read, I was in the gospel of John reading about the resurrection of Lazarus. The Lord was touching me so much with how Jesus felt when Martha and Mary came running out to Jesus so distressed about the death of Lazarus -

John 11:32-35 (New King James Version)

32 Then, when Mary came where Jesus was, and saw Him, she fell down at His feet, saying to Him, “Lord, if You had been here, my brother would not have died.”

33 Therefore, when Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who came with her weeping, He groaned in the spirit and was troubled. 34 And He said, “Where have you laid him?”

They said to Him, “Lord, come and see.”

35 Jesus wept.

The word was standing out like 3D and the holy Spirit was showing me that even though Jesus knew that He was going to raise Lazarus from the dead, He wept and cried because of the pain the girls were going through. Jesus felt there pain and grieved with them. He revealed to me again just how much love, compassion and mercy He has on us and how He grieves and intercedes (Romans 8:34) when we are experiencing pain in any sort of way.

Well, little did I know that God was preparing me for a situation that I never thought would happen. On Sunday afternoon about 1:30pm it was just Joshua (my 9yo son) and I at home as my husband, Grace, my niece (20), Mum, Dad, Auntie Betty and Uncle Geoff were all out on a bike ride. I was laying on the couch when I started to bleed, a lot, and I began to cry and panic, so I rang the doctor instantly and she told me that I either was going to miscarriage or I'm just bleeding.

I panicked for no one was here, so I phoned my very close cousin and her husband who prayed for me and just helped so much by listening. I had forgot that the lady staying in the water view apartment of our B&B was there, but Joshua didn't, and he ran out and asked for her help, she is a lovely Christian lady and I just Praise God that she was there and for my son acting so responsibly.

It wasn't too long that David came home after my cousin Jen and her husband phoned her parents who were on the bike ride, and soon I was surrounded by all my beautiful family.

The bleeding didn't stop.

2:30am Monday morning I woke up, and began to experience the first lot of pain, it wasn't too bad at this stage, but David woke up at the same time. For the next hour I began to lose lots of blood clots and now I knew what was happening.

At about 6:00am I started having real intense pain that caused me to groan and within 20 minutes our little baby Benjamin had come. My husband was able to take him from me and went and looked at him and that's how he discovered the baby was a boy.

I sat in the bathroom for 10 minutes just crying before the Lord.

I saw my Jesus crying with me for the pain we were having just like He showed me in the book of John, it was at that moment that I realised why Jesus showed me that scripture.

My Father in heaven had everything planned with my beautiful niece staying with us and my beautiful Auntie & Uncle staying with my Mum & Dad.

My Mum is such an amazing woman of God and I am so blessed to have her in my life. She has been here everyday, just helping with housework, fellowshipping with us and just blessing us. I love her dearly.

I felt so blessed to have everyone around all day that Monday, and I had the pure peace in my heart that can only come from Jesus, He loves us so much.

David, Joshua, Dad and Uncle Geoff took baby Benjamin and buried him in a beautiful spot by the river. We know He will grow in heaven and on that wonderful day we will meet him again.

Tuesday morning I awoke to a chorus of a song playing over and over in my mind -

"Hallelujah, Grace like rain, falls down on me, Hallelujah and all my stains are washed away"

When I got out of bed, I went and had a look outside and it was pouring rain. The Holy Spirit touched me so deeply and that is what His amazing Grace is like - rain that continues to fall. It is still pouring rain right now.

Through this journey on earth we all experience grief and pain in one way or another and we will continue until we are perfected in heaven.

But like the apostle Paul wrote in 2 Corinthians 12:9 -

'And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.'
It's during these times in our lives when we experience the Lords amazing Grace more stronger than ever.
Here is the song if you would like to listen to it!


  1. Oh Sarah,
    I am so sorry for your loss... but at the same time rejoicing with you at your *deposit* in heaven, where you will again see your boy.

    I thank our Father that He was with you all the way... preparing your heart and for the softening of the Holy Spirit. Praise Father for His grace.

    ((((( Sarah ))))))

  2. Sarah,
    I'm lost for words. I'm so sorry for the loss of your precious prince Benjamin. But like Susan, I take comfort that we will get to meet him one day in heaven.
    For now, i'll be praying that Jesus, our amazing friend and Saviour, continues to comfort you, shower his love upon you and bring you His perfect peace.
    It was such a beautiful testimony - that in the midst of pain and heartache, He has already prepared the way, was weeping with you and comforting you with His Word. I love the words in Zephaniah - He will quiten you with His love and rejoice over you with singing.
    Again, I'm sorry for your loss but praise God for His love and faithfulness shining through you.
    With all my love,
    Lusi x

  3. Oh Sarah!
    I am so so sorry!
    God is indeed good to us "all the time" even in the midst of painful life experiences.
    Let His love and comfort continue to rain down on you in the coming months and years.
    A miscarriage is something one never forgets...having been there a few times myself!
    I am so glad that God showed you that you had a "son" and that you were able to name him.
    Sending my love prayers and hugs to you today....

  4. ((Sarah)) hugs to you. May the Lord continue to uphold you. xoxo

  5. Oh Sarah ,
    big hugs!!!! We too lost at little boy , at 13 weeks. My heart is so sad for you and that you didn't get to enjoy enough time with little Benjamin this side of heaven. You are clinging to our God, he is the comfort to walk you thru this storm. Praying for you and your precious family at this time!!
    Luv Donna

  6. Thinking of you and your family in your time of loss. May God bless you greatly and heal your hurt.

  7. Thank you lovely ladies, I appreciate your comments. xxxx

  8. You're both an inspiration in showing your tremendous faith in action. You both display a true witness to everyone of your genuine love of the Lord and how He's carrying you through. Your generosity in sharing this intimate experience with others is admirable.

    Chris and I are continually praying for you and Dave. We love you all dearly and our hearts ache with you.

  9. Hello my friend! Your faith has been constant and has withstood all that life has had to throw at you, including now. How beautiful is your testimony. My heart cries with you, and though I cannot understand the measure of your pain, I know that His grace and love are stronger and will carry you and your family through this season. You are loved!

  10. I am so sorry that your baby boy has gone before you. Having lost a baby to miscarriage myself at 12 weeks, I know what grief accompanies such a loss.

    Hold fast that He will turn your mourning into dancing...but for now, it is your time to grieve. Be wrapped in His arms of love. xo

  11. What a strong woman of faith that you are precious Sarah...I was the one who was blessed to have been there to experience your faith in are a tremendous blessing to us all, an inspiration..we came to be a blessing to you, you turned out to be a blessing to us all..Faith shines in the easy to say you believe when all is faith involved in that..I can almost hear Jesus say.."Well done good & faithful servant" We love you Sarah, & are continually thanking God for your display of "FAITH"

  12. Sarah, I have no words. I am so sorry for what you just went through. I will be praying for you and hope that you will continue to feel God's loving arms around you. I've never lost a child, so I have no idea what you're experiencing. All I can do is pray. And that is exactly what i will do. God bless you and your family.

  13. Precious are His intimate dealings with us.

    I'm so sorry for your loss and at the same time so happy that he is in heaven, maybe he and our little one are already playing there... :)

    Hold on to Jesus! The plans He has are the very best plans.

    Loving you in Christ,

    amy in peru

  14. So sad for you tonight, my precious friend. Wish I could hug you in person. Do come and stay with me again soon.

  15. Sarah, I just popped by today to tell you I've been thinking of and praying for you....

  16. Sarah, I am so very sorry to hear of your loss. My grief is only comforted by hearing that the Lord Jesus was there with you, ministering to you in your time of need. I will continue to pray for healing for your faith. Praying for you, sister.

  17. Dear Sarah,
    I was out of the country and blogland for the past month, so just now I am getting myself back to it.
    My heart grieved and cried with yours as I read this post. I am so sorry, truly sorry.
    God is faithful, He knew before hand what you needed and when you needed "For such a time as this" May you continue to feel our Master's presence and comfort as Mary and Martha felt.

  18. Oh Sarah. I am so sad for you. I'm so sorry I didn't know until now. I really don't know what else to say, except that I will be praying for you and your family. I hope you can feel Jesus right there with you, holding your hand. Hugs to you, and much love and prayers.

    Melanie. xx

  19. Sarah, I'm crying with you at the loss of your baby boy, Benjamin, but I'm happy that you have found God's grace raining down upon your life ~ praise His holy name!

    May God's blessings be abundantly upon you and your family,
    Love Jillian ♥

  20. Hello, my name is Amanda, and I 'know' many of your blogging friends (from my homeschooling years)...

    This post touched my heart, and I felt your grief and pain, but I also felt your deep abiding trust and faith, in Him, who keeps all your tears in a bottle.

    I am so pleased you were given such a beautiful outpouring of His love and peace. That is priceless.

    Little Benjamin will also look forward to the day that he will be reunited with you and your family.

    Blessings to you,

    ps. I love that song!


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